"Soy un perdedor"

Met the Used today. It was...words cannot describe it.

They really fucking can't.

Okay, so we got there around two, waited on line till six--and all these kids were wedged between the aisles, and most of them were like me: short girls with lots of make up an dyed hair. But as luck would motherfucking have it, I wound up behind the ONLY TALL ASSHOLES IN THE PLACE. THIS KID WITH LONG HAIR AND A BASEBALL CAP, THIS OTHER GUY IN A LIGHT BLUE SHIRT, AND A LARGE BLACK MAN THAT COULD EASILY BE MISTAKEN FOR BIGGIE SMALLS' REINCARNATION.

They were all nice, but still.

"The bad news is, we're only playing one more song," Bert muttered into the microphone, "but the good news is I just saved a shit load of money by switching to Geicko."

Awesome.

Anyway, we went back outside, got on line for the signing, waited some more, and finally got in.

Bert told me he liked my shirt. I told him I liked his face.

Dan gave me the plastic black tablecloth, which I still have. I took it and told them I was a klepto. (They doodled all over it. I can kind of tells whose is whose...I know Jeph was the one practicing drawing Kanji...and then it's just all a guessing game from there).

I didn't really get to talk to Quinn (sad, unquinnified face), because he was talking to someone behind the table and I really didn't want to hold the line up.

But I ended up doing that anyway, because Jeph was kind of just SPACED OUT LIKE WOAH. He apologized and said it was one of those days. Which is cool, because I have those fucking days everyday. I said it was nice meeting them, and rushed out, kind of just...I can only explain it in the sense that it's like--you buy the CDs, love the music, hang onto every single word, note, beat, and essentially fall in love with these men. And I know it's not real love, it's more like idol-worship, but still. Point is you have this amazing band that you're so into, and it's mostly just hazy feelings centered around beautiful music and the band that makes it. And when you meet them it's like...it's real. It's not just CDs or posters or computer backgrounds. It's breathing, living, real, in front of you, speaking to you, smiling at you.

The idea of idol worship is stupid to me, because I don't know any of them personally. I don't know their favorite colors, or what DVDs they never leave home without, I've never hung out with them, I don't know their family or friends. They're just the faces I can put to the music. But at the same time I feel something because their songs mean something to my life. And what I feel is real. I don't know them, and to them I'm just another face in the crowd, but I still love them.

And meeting them is like--in this moment this is real, I know you, you can see my face, and I love you.

It's so stupid.

They came outside later, getting into their silver minivan (of what I assume is epicness), with Bert hanging out the door yelling, "Dan Whitesides--if you don't get your ass in this car in five seconds, you're out of the band."

Gave Dan a hifive with my non-eczema hand, asked him for his soul, to which he replied he didn't have one, and someone brought out their doggy, a little long-haired dachshund, and Jeph warned them with a smile, "you gotta be careful with their backs because it is so easy to hurt them..."

And that real feeling came back to me, because I can't count the times I've had to warn someone when picking up my dog to be careful with her back (she's half dachshund). And it's just like...I don't even know. It just made me smile.

And then I spent $105 for Bert's t-shirt that he wore during the performance and a used towel.

God I am such a loser.